dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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