forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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