so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize