They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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