have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
