I puked a lego.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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