I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
this hospital has no fireball
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
