That's intense
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
