friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
