Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize