Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he thought i was a dude.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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