Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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