I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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