He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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