It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my shit smells like andre
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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