You're a womanizer and a bitch.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
