it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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