Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
