Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
