can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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