Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
