We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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