I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize