Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
