im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize