And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
