you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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