So drunk its hurt
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
