I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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