oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
