Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
