if you like me you must not know who I am
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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