How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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