When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
