I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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