Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
