i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so let's talk penis.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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