all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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