she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
