Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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