I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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