Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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