He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
