so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sober January is a disaster.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
