so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
