I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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