No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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