we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
