We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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