Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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