I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
