I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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