we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
