There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
