The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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