I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
