$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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