i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
