You smell like a Billy Joel song
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
