your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
