nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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