I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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