Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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