Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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