Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
