I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
